Its been around 5-6 years since I have been with someone, I know I don’t talk much about my personal life because its something I want to keep sacred. However, we’ve been serious, we’ve had our share of ups and downs and I think its time I formally introduce you to this person.
Meet, Twiddle Tomato Dee or as the norms of society like to name him, Acne, its hobbies include excessive amounts of PDA and is notoriously obsessed with my face. I have a feeling he is a little insecure because he will never let go of me, he wants everyone to know about his existence.
I’ve tried breaking up, I’ve tried seeking professional help as well, but there seems to be no luck. He is obsessed with me to the point that I feel I might need to take drastic measures. And telling you about this relationship might be one of them. Why? Well, let’s just say I am convinced that whenever I reveal a relationship of mine online, it ends up almost never working out. So, here’s to hoping that the jinx of the interwebs comes in handy, otherwise I am stuck with this for life.
The story behind Twiddle Tomato Dee and me is like a generic Disney story, he had a crush on me but we decided just to be friends, I wasn’t really interested in him because, call me shallow, but he wasn’t very good looking. Lets just say puberty did more harm than good to him, but you know, I didn’t want to be mean and completely disregard his feelings so I kept him as a friend. He tried taking me on dates especially when he knew I would be the most moody, he would bring me chocolates and generally just be there like any nice guy.
Fast forward to when I was in university, he decided he could not wait anymore and really clung onto me until I succumbed to his charms and said yes. This relationship was too fast, too soon and was bound to get ugly. I could not handle it, the relationship was messy, bloody and just outright painful and no matter how hard I tried, I could not get out of it, so I did what most in a toxic relationship do, I covered it up.
Although covering up was not enough, this relationship was hampering my confidence. Although Twiddle Tomato Dee would tell me I’m beautiful, I just didn’t feel beautiful. I mean, how could I? I was in an unhappy relationship with noway out!
I did what anyone in todays day and age would do, I tried to seek help online, when all those methods just leaded to nothing aside from making Tomato Dee feel like we are getting closer, a friend recommended I seek professional help.
We went slow about it, we started by slowly trying to distance myself from him and build a healthy lifestyle. It started to work for a while, but Tomato Dee’s obsession was one of a sociopath and he would come back. The professional decided now is not the time to back down and we brought the big guns out, a special restraining order called Acutane which was designed specially for sickos like Tomato Dee.
I breathed a sigh of relief, this would work. I could finally break up and move on. I was far too damaged to carry on with this relationship, I could not handle it anymore. And there it was, a solution. This restraining order brought me a peace of mind, it was the best thing to have ever happened to me. Until, the time the restraining order expired, and I was back to playing a game of hide and seek.
This has been going on for a few years now, to the point that I am genuinely terrified of being seen in public with him. He is like the main character from the TV show “You”, he will do anything just to be with you. Even if it means killing your own self confidence so that you can somehow remotely feel like you both, in some twisted law of the universe, belong together.
Currently, Tomato Dee is battling, it is trying to stay in my life by constantly reminding me how much damage I have done to myself, and how every day I fail to love and take care of myself. Although a constant battle which for a while was on a losing streak, has somehow nudged its way to a win, thanks to the pandemic and always wearing masks. I thought wearing a mask would make make me like a confident superhero, you know with saving the world and all that good stuff. Little did I know that it would turn me into an insecure, under confident superhero, who is probably doing good for mankind but at the end just feels frustrated. I am trying not to surrender but I no longer know what to do, Tomato Dee, our supervillain in this story and coincidentally my forced lover has now found a new side kick, the mask, and well, its 2 against one at the moment. However, here’s to hoping that the good guy, me, the under confident superhero ends up having a fairy tale ending. For now, I am still on the hunt of my trusted side kick. The current contenders are as follows:
- Prescription Tretinoin
- The Ordinary’s Niacinamide + Zinc
- Salicylic Acid Face Wash
- CBD Cream
As I carry on the interview process for the above contenders, do you think I will be able to find my sidekick, do you think any of the above have what it takes to be my trusted one, to be the robin to this batman (ok, I got carried away, but you get the point right?)
Babble Ninja 